leyeh leyeh

Ngantuk. Gue doyan banget tidur. Kalo gue disuruh pilih antara makan, mandi, dan tidur. Maka gue akan pilih tidur. Seringnya sih gak tidur-tidur amat. Cuma merem-merem bentar diatas permukaan datar sambil dengerin musik dan ngehayal-hayal dikit. Nyokap gue bilangnya leyeh-leyeh. Dan si leyeh-leyeh ini gak hanya enak dilakukan diatas kasur.

di angkot
Berhubung rumah gue jauh banget waktu di Bandung, tidur di angkot menjadi salah satu hobi gue. Kadang gue baca juga sih diangkot. Kalo pegi biasanya baca buku pelajaran, kalo pulang baca novel. Tapi kalo nature call, mending juga gue cari tempat di pojok. Dan tidur sambil senderan ke kaca. Kalo gak dapet dipojok, tidur sambil nyender di ransel. Boleh juga curi-curi kesebelah kalo keliatannya orang baek-baek. Kadang begitu bangun, tetep jaim sambil perhatiin jalan. Terus dengan pedenya teriak ‘kiri, kiri!’ minta turun. Begitu turun nyebrang dan naek arah sebaliknya. Karena ternyata kelewatan euy.

sambil ngobrol
‘duy’. ’hah? (sambil gelagapan) iya sih bener kata ria, mendingan juga dibagi dua aja’. ‘yang bilang dibagi dua si wini duy’. ‘ah masa sih?’ yah kalo gue udah mulai gak nyambung pas lagi ngobrol2 terutama lagi belajar. Itu tandanya gue lagi asik2 leyeh2.

di kolam renang
kemaren sempet berenang kemaleman di Citos. Ternyata enak banget. Pas banget pantulan2 cahayanya. Udaranya enak kan kagak panas tapi dingin banget juga nggak. Kemaren juga sempet lagi bete2 sama kerjaan dan berenang sendirian kesana. Enak buat leyeh-leyeh. Trus baliknya beli roti goreng mayonais. Slurp. Atau es krim Pisa kalo lagi tajir. Double Slurp.

Akhir-akhir ini ada tempat baru buat leyeh-leyeh.
Di kantor.
Kalo terlalu banyak kerjaan dan akhirnya bingung ngerjain yang mana duluan. Atau kalo gak ada kerjaan jadi bingung apa yang mo dikerjain. Itulah saat paling enak buat leyeh-leyeh. Mana depan computer yang konon kabarnya emang buat mata ngantuk kalo kelamaan dipelongin (padahal nonton Meteor Garden gue nonstop depan computer dan mata gue baek2 aja, paling bengkak gara-gara nangis). Terus apa yang paling enak sambil leyeh2 depan computer? Nyemil, minum kopi, browsing ape gtuh dan nulis di blog, kayak sekarang.

Dimana tempat leyeh-leyeh favorit lo?

addicted to gadget

Been wondering my previous life some years ago. Where I could live happily without any help of handphone. So different with today. In my first year carrying handphone, it will be better for me if I forgot my entire bag than to leave my handy. Recently, handy is not enough. It gotta be loaded with account also.

And now I feel a huge desire in buying laptop. Aside from the fact that my bro is going to take my desktop to Bandung, I do think that I need one. Badly. Dont know what kind of lust it is, but I need to have a laptop. I need it. I wanna buy it. I wanna have it. Muahahhahahhaha.

they're not yours they are my own

Heard this song couple days ago in the office. Been a while since the last time I really listen and put attention on its lyrics.

I’m actually not a Jewel fan, so it’s a bit hard for me to salute her song. But anyway, here’s the condensed-version lyrics:

Jewel – Hands

If I could tell the world just one thing
It would be that we're all ok
And not to worry because worry is wasteful
and useless in times like these

I will not be made useless
I won't be idled with despair
I will gather myself around my faith
for light does the darkness most fear

My hands are small, I know,
but they're not yours they are my own
but they're not yours they are my own
and I am never broken

Poverty stole your golden shoes
but it didn't steal your laughter
And heartache came to visit me
but I knew it wasn't ever after

We will fight, not out of spite
for someone must stand up for what's right
cause where there's a man who has no voice
there ours shall go singing

In the end only kindness matters
In the end only kindness matters
I will get down on my knees and I will pray
I will get down on my knees and I will pray

I consider that the point is, no matter what and who we are, we were born to be something. Maybe we were not so lucky in certain areas (brain, look, behavior, handicapped, teeth) but they're not yours they are my own! And when things got bad, just get kneel and pray for everything to be return in kind.

Such a soul-fulfilling song!

it takes (at least) two to tango

Suka serem sama cerita orang-orang lately. Bagaimana hubungan seseorang bisa berubah dari yang asalnya saling sayang, sampai akhirnya saling benci. Orang yang paling bisa bikin lo sakit adalah orang yang paling lo sayang, bisa jadi ortu lo, temen, pacar, siblings, etc.

Jaman-jamannya gue baca Chicken Soup, ada satu quotation yang gue terus inget sampe sekarang. Intinya sih, kalo kita care sama seseorang, perlakukanlah dia seperti pasir diatas tangan kita. Kalo kita menggenggam pasir itu terlalu kuat, dia bakal sesak dan pelan-pelan keluar dari sela-sela jari kita. Tapi kalo kita buka jarinya, pasir-pasir itu bakal nyaman di telapak tangan kita.

Ada benernya sih quotation itu, tapi ada kurangnya juga. Emangnya kagak cape si tangan nampung pasir melulu? Terus, apa si tangan dan pasir itu gak bisa saling berbagi dengan elemen kehidupan yang lain?

Gimana kalo analoginya gue ganti jadi garam dan merica. Dua-duanya bisa bebas explore kemana aja dan shows their best di dunia mereka masing-masing. Tapi kalo disatuin pun mereka bisa cocok, asal tepat formulanya. Walau bisa juga saling ngacoin kalo emang lagi datang bulan tidak oke. Dan namanya juga sama-sama bumbu dapur, apakah salah untuk saling mengisi dan saling berbagi? Antar mereka sendiri, dengan bumbu-bumbu dapur yang lain, ataupun dengan specialties mereka masing-masing?

Rasa sayang, gak mo kehilangan, sebel, sedih, seneng itu bukan keran air yang bisa dibuka tutup kapan aja kita mau. Disinilah peran otak dan pikiran realistis, sesuatu yang seringnya gak berfungsi kalo udah pake hati. Karna emang hati dan otak suka gak singkron jalannya (punya gue sih seringnya begitu).

Yah tapi, yang penting kan usaha. Marilah kita selalu berusaha untuk mempertahankan rasa sayang. Terusin doa tiap malemnya untuk nyamain visi dan misi. Pegang tangannya aja kuat-kuat karna kalo hatinya bisa kepegang berarti gue sebenernya pembunuh bayaran yang terus ketawa membahana sambil memegang hatinya yang berlumuran darah bak di pelem-pelem thriller.

Kalo ternyata orangnya tetep mo pergi dan masi doyan ngilang tanpa pamit? Well, guess we’ve done our best and there’s nothing else that we can do, right? Karna semuanya itu tango, and it takes (at least) two to tango. Kalo yang satu maunya tango dan yang lain salsa ribet dooong ;)

an atmosphere hunter

The thing that I always seek into when I entered a new city is their local food. Yeah, you could call me a freak food hunter. And its indeed reflected in my shape.

My best achievement on food-huntering was on Makassar. The food is damn delicious and its affordable. Up until now I can still tell the taste of Coto Makassar and some-green-banana-icy thing which I forgot the name. I have once bought its replica in Bandung, but it taste different. Could be caused by the originality that of course Bandung wont have? Or simply because the atmosphere was different?

I just had lunch with some old friends on last Friday. From all six of us, one ordered kwetiaw and the others were enjoying their beverages. This single plate of kwetiaw was invading by all of us, and it seems so tasty. But when I order it on my own. It didn’t taste that good.

Same thing happen some weeks ago when we was invading one bowl of soup with hat. We ate them so barbarically until the table was covered in splash of soup and the pieces of the danish was scattered all around the place even until our clothes. And it tasted so good.

Sometime like to wonder. Why I sometime couldn’t enjoy the food in some fancy restaurant with my bosses? Why I enjoy more in lingering in bed just to chat with a or several friends and just drink mineral water and ate chips?

Maybe the sugar, spice and salt are not always be the answer for delicious food. I think atmosphere play a great role here. Therefore I would like to change my alias into an atmosphere hunter.

(would like to bestow my sincerest gratitude for those of you who put contribution in making nice atmosphere around until I get this fat)

no bosses around!!

My two biggest (well, one is quite big and one is tall enough) bosses are not around since Monday. And guess what happened at the office?

Lets see, some come to the office very late, some come home very early, and some come very late and get rushing back home or having massage at 4 o clock in the afternoon. And all of these are recorded in the not-so-sophisticated-attendance-recording-device, but too bad no one put much attention on follow up of the poor machine.

Actually, is it allowed to be not in order while your bosses away? Why we actually following the rules? Is it because we are afraid of our bosses? Or we respect them? If we jump with glee of their absent in office, and a bit ignoring our work and have a helluvah lunch or enjoy the relaxation at the beauty parlor during the office hour, is that what respect means?

I never thought that I will have this feeling of extremely relieve knowing that my bosses is not around. Some part of my brain keep telling me that this is not the way it supposed to be. I should’ve stay put with my job regardless they are around or not, instead, I did make 3 writings on blogs (2 are recently published and 1 still on draft), help my friend selling several shirts, have great breakfast outside, browse www.nationalgeographic.com, making 1 glass of tea and 1 coffee and now I’m going to have lunch. Meanwhile, I’m actually aware of what tasks that I need to do that related with office. But I just didn’t have that desire to finish them.

Think its time for me to move forward, but, where to go?

yang buat gue shock sejak hidup baru gue di jakarta

1. Walau jarak ke kantor deket, ngekos itu gak seenak rumah gue di Bandung yg sejauh2nya manusia
2. Blog itu asik euy
3. ‘Sex and the city’ taught more about friendship than ‘friends’
4. Jakarta gak macet-macet amat (jalur gue)
5. Pindah kos itu ribet
6. Saku celana bukan tempat yang paling aman untuk nyimpen HP
7. Nemu cecurut di kamar kos gue yg berukuran hanya 1.7 x 3.4
8. Dengerin FGD atau diskusi2nya orang2 tua itu frustrating, kagak kestruktur dan kebanyakan cerita pengalaman mereka instead of jawab pertanyaan
9. Baju2 gue yang gue pikir gedombrangan sekarang semuanya ngepas
10. Ternyata rekening koran itu maksudnya rekening tabungan, bukan rekening langganan koran
11. Kepeditan dan kekayaan itu ternyata seringnya berbanding lurus
12. Brenang sendirian di Citos malem2 ternyata asik juga
13. Ternyata beberapa sobat gue perhitungan
14. Orang-orang yang mungkin keren pas pertama lo liat, belom tentu bakal jadi keren terus
15. Banyak banget artis di Jakarta
16. Ben dilagunya Jacko itu tikus, bukan anak kecil negro
17. Kerja itu susah kalo gak pake hati
18. It feels good to know that you are meaningful
19. Sesokcuek2nya gue, ternyata tetep aja bete kalo tau ada kerjaan yang harusnya bisa buat gue tapi dilempar ke orang lain
20. Ternyata cowok punya G-spot juga
21. Buku-buku cetakan luar juaaauuhhh lebih enteng dibandingin cetakan-cetakan domestik
22. gendut itu gampang, pake hati ataupun tidak
23. Bos-bos itu pada dasarnya rese, suka jadiin anak buahnya tameng, apa gak kebalik tuh?
24. Life is indeed hard, but just enjoy it lah!

Darkness

On my early elementary ages, I do afraid of the dark.

When the nights come, I always have this eerie feeling. In my mind, all bad things happens when its dark. I always hold my Mom’s hand so tight so that she wouldn’t go away. I’m afraid that she could sometime die if I didn’t hold her tight. I hold her skirt, her sleeves and everything so that nothing can take her away from me.

That’s the best that a 7 years girl can do to prevent someone from losing.

I often forget those moments. Due to the growth of my sense, I do aware that it takes more than just holding hand to stop someone that you care from going away from you. And I do aware, that darkness doesn’t always mean no lights.

And if someone stay near you physically, Doesn’t mean that the heart stay close as well

I recently feel that eerie feeling again. And I don't know why, but I suddenly back to that 7 years old girl and do the silly thing again.

why do people have to work?

There are several phases that need to go through in our life, born, school, work, marriage, having children, then die peacefully. My phase is on the work now. Wanna share you all a bit about this.

Kinda confuse of the reason why people have to work. Is it for money? Pleasure? Social life? Expressing your lust? Pride? Killing time? Or just simply because we have to do it.

I graduate from a varsity where most of its alumni put pride first for their job. The more famous your place of work, the more salutation will be given to you. Appraisal from people, that admiring and astonishing look in people eyes everytime you mention your company, the calculating brain which imagining how much bonuses that you will gain in the end of the year, are they what actually be the reason to work?

To the contrary, some closest friends of mine are thinking in the different way. Some of them are not coming from what so called prestigious varsities. Although how much I hate to admit this, but the easiest -please do notice the word easy and not effective- way for the recruiting team in most of the company to measure their candidates performance is merely by the name of the varsities and some numbers, or well known as GPA.

Anyway, what I’m trying to say is, this group of people, they don’t really care of what kind of job that they will have. They will be so glad just to have a job, regardless what kind of job it is or whether it will be suitable with their background or not. Some which coming from a lucky family didn’t even consider that their salary are very much less then their expenditure. Its all the same. They think they should work because they have to. As simple as that.

I do agree that people have to work, but I don’t agree to any of the above reason of why should people work. Firstly, we need activities and we need cash to continue or live. Yes, no doubt in that and –correct me if I’m wrong- the only way to do it is by working. Therefore we have to work and the salary must be able to cover average expenditure.

But something that people nowadays remain forgotten is to follow the little thing call heart. Most of my surrounding are using brain much often than heart. They do the cost and benefit analysis of place to work by using mostly brain. The keywords that they are using is salary, location, MNC/not, do they have website, bonuses, career, etc., let alone the word chemistry, interest, how it could benefit other than you and your company, how it could bring betterment to the society, and so on.

I would actually prefer to merge both of my brain and my heart, by building a thing called dream. I thought it would be perfect if I could merge my capacity and interest into a dream and the thing that I need to do is find a place to make that dream come true. I know that this wont be any easy, maybe the only way is by creating this place on my own. But anyway, for the time being, anywhere you work, just don’t let the lights of your dreams goes out. Just promise yourself that you’ll do it sometime. Even when you didn’t make it come true, be glad, because to build a dream is hard enough.

magical place

It’s the place where sun doesn’t burn much
Yet it’s the place where cold doesn’t bite

It’s the place where grin and laughter are welcomed
But frown and tears are allowed

It’s the place where all problems could be forgotten for a while,
Then you know that you wont solve it on your own

It’s the place where all excitement present,
Yet the fear of afraid of losing each other appear as well

It’s the place where you feel so meaningful and guarded

It’s the place where you could really understand the exact meaning of comfortable

It’s really a magical place on earth
Where squirrel and hairy caterpillar found each other

It’s the place where the strongest bond exist
Yet it’s the place where the misunderstanding kept happening

Yeah different species have their own way in saying their thoughts,
But I believe that they do have their own sacred and unique kind of love to share
And the dream to keep this magical place always

Hope the squirrel and the hairy caterpillar have the same believe as me
Because not everyone could have this marvelous privilege

(inspired from the song 'Return to the Pooh Corner'. It's really a beautiful place, gak peduli yg temenan babi ama keledai, heheheh)