Thursday, June 02, 2005

Just Another Girl

Been got back from a party some hours ago. It’s called Jakarta Gathering of my college buddies. Thought it was a small party. But it turns out to be pretty merry. Some people that I don’t know came as well. Not really comfortable. Especially that she’s there as well.

Always thought that I forget him. Always thought that I care no more for him to be someone-to-be-with. Always thought that I wont give a damn if I saw them together again. Guess some of them still wrong.

It is no longer that crazy little thing called love. That little thing is gone some years ago. I can assure of that. But this feeling of pride, that someone has beaten me, that a man, a friend of mine, lie to me for several years. That big thing called pride is what bug me so deep everytime I saw them together.

He is no longer the same person I know before. No longer become the person that I admire and I do care much. Yes I still care for him but just the same as I will care my other friends on his level. He is changing. Into someone that I’m no longer comfortable with. The only thing that put us in ease is our past, and anything written in newspaper or TVs.

And she? I hardly know about her. I just don’t like her. Sometimes I wonder why. Is it because she’s prettier than me? Smarter? Wealthier? If that so, is that what a guy always looking from a girl? Then I’m sure I wont get any. I’m very lacking at those three departments. But, is it right? Can I just hate someone because she’s better than me? Then I will hate nearly everybody. Then I will live in jealousy.

But the heck. I don’t like her. And I don’t think that I have obligation to stay near her. So just stay put. Stay away. Yes you win the competition. Yes you has just proved that you are way better than me and as usual, I am a nobody. Hate to admit this. Gotta kill my pride to finally admit this. Admit that again, and again, I am just another girl.

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