Tuesday, March 22, 2005

my definition of love

love is the only thing that i can actually share
it could be as glittery as gold
a simple kind of love, full of love and caring
same size, same portion, freely, truly, honestly
for such a nice person, friend, enemy, partner
aka sibling if i could humbly add

sometime we try to deny the fact
that the definition of any kind of love
is still depend on how people see it
no matter how extremely we care for someone
if theres this different point of view
then this sacred feeling that actually available
yet seem to be inappropiate

sometime the selfish part of the heart keep asking everything to stay the same
because the whole thing was just too beautiful to leave behind
because to lose the picture perfect of friendship is somehow unbearable

but..
if i still be selfish
then it will loose the essence of my love itself..

therefore I hereby re-define my statement of love
that this feeling of mine will be undefinable
I will care for you in my own way in whatever you`ll choose to act
I might never gonna say it in precise and accurate words
you just need to listen it with your deepest kindest heart that I ever know

thanks a lot
always wish you happiness in each and every breath you take

Thursday, March 10, 2005

its just me

Feminine and gorgeous lady
That’s surely not me
I like to wear jeans
And have short hair cut
And also laughing out loud

Mastering general knowledge
That’s the thing that I always hate
I might know few things
But what interest me most, is just to sing

A violin-shape female
I think I more similar to whale, a nigger whale :D
I`m working on it, though..
But it seems didn’t work really well

Being a steel heart girl
It will really torture me
I shed tears in all Disney movies
Okay, all movies..
And happy stories,
Amaze me more than tragedy

Yup,
That’s me!!
I know that I`m not in-the-magazine-kind-of-girl
But I don’t want to change me..
And I do hope that you all will love me as me

(It was made on a day when the urge of loving one particular male is clashing with the dignity of just being myself. And myself is the winner. Though I still want him to love me back, heuhuehueh)

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

Roommate

I was leaving Bandung last year. There will be a long story for this, but it was awfully depressing for me to get out of the city. However, with strong will to strive for a brand new life and try to find the deepest meaning of being independent, I did move to Jakarta for my first job.

A new sheet of life means a new sheet in the bed. I gotta find somewhere to live. After knocking numerous doors, I decided to stay in the same room with an old friend from college. The room was pretty large. People could actually play football in this room.

Room arrangement was done. Never say it was easy though, she likes blue and I do green. So if you go to our room, you’ll be easily distinguished which side is mine and which is hers. However, hm, don’t say this to her but I secretly put green things around without her notice. That’s what I mean by green room freshener, bathroom freshener and green floor cleaner.

After so long living alone, being double is not always easy. I bet she felt the same way too since she’s the only child in her family. One big issue is tidiness. I always thank God for keeping the same standard of cleaning habit in us. Well, actually I’m some numbers lower than her. In this case, I thank God a lot for having roommate with such understanding.

Can’t say that I’m an easy person, though. I tend to do whatever I like. Going home very late at night, too lazy to pick up the underwear dried in the bathroom, rarely put my things in its place, often forget my keys, love to sing out loud regardless the quality of my voice, sneezes frequently, stuffed her with the latest update of my life (which are usually either unimportant or something pathetic), crying for lousy reasons and several others activities that I bet not much people can handle. But tell you what? This buddy of mine, she can handle it very well.

She’s just never complain, well I’m not saying that she’s quiet but she’s just not that kind of girl who will fuss about small things. She can act in several characters. If I go home late she’ll acted as my mom and call me. During my hardest day, she’ll be all ears and be my dearly friend. On my stubborn-denial-full ego situation, she’ll be the reminder of my truly feeling. In short, I’m actually a bit freaking if she’s not around, although she’s the one who put all the pillows around her if I didn’t stay at a night.

However, life goes on. This friend of mine will soon going to get married. She looked a bit stressed out about the wedding sometime. But I bet she did enjoy her justifications of buying things for her wedding. This new life of her and her beloved ones means that she’s no longer going to be my roommate. This is one of my reasons to find another place to stay. Aside from my initial plan of want to be real independent, I don’t think that I can handle if she leave me first for the wedding. Therefore, I decided to move out.

Picking roommate is not as easy as picking oranges in the supermarket. This one is way more complicated. I can’t find suitable formula to describe how to find the right roommate, but I do can tell you all that I did have found the right roommate. And the right roommate is indeed filling the loneliness that occurred to a single-far-away-from-home kind of girl. Like me.

Thank you so much, Pies. Hope you find the real happiness with Dj.

each of us is unique

This poetry was made on Kumkum and Ninots wedding day. It was the first catholic wedding that I attend, and it was really a beautiful one.

Each of us is unique
Not better or worse, but just different
And like a series of puzzles
Different pieces will be completed
if its find its match
Unfortunately, unlike puzzles
Its kina harder for us
To find someone that will make us feel completed
It will be a long and challenging journey indeed
There’ll be tears between laughter
There’ll be frowns between grins
But when we’re willing to take the risk
Eager to seek and stay
Tell God that we’re ready to lose one,
if one’s not meant for us
Don’t mind to try and put a smile after cry
Forget the mistakes and appreciate the flaw
Then don’t worry,..
God will aware of our endeavor
And set the one as the piece that will complete us
And guard it til the journey is over


August 23rd, 2003
Dedicated to Ninot and Kumkum
Two of our beloved friends
that successfully has found the right piece
to complete each other
Congrats and have a very joyful journey!