untuk seorang sahabat

Ada yang baru tumpah. Setelah numpuk sekian lama akhirnya keluar juga. Setelah bertoleransi sekian lama akhirnya gak tahan juga. Setelah berusaha sekian lama akhirnya cape juga. Setelah nahan sekian lama akhirnya marah juga.

Ada yang baru bernostalgia. Inget-inget masa lalunya. Sukanya sama kerjaan yang dulu. Kabur2nya sama temen2nya lamanya. Konflik2nya sebelumnya. Gimana pernah merasa dihargai walau pernah disakiti juga. Merasa berarti karna didenger orang banyak dan bisa berbagi ilmu.

Ada yang lagi banyak tanya. Kenapa harus liat CV? Kenapa harus ada strata dalam kerjaan? Kenapa mereka anggap gue gak mampu? Kenapa mereka gak mau dengerin? Kenapa mereka maunya enaknya aja? Kenapa kerjaan administrative dianggap sucks? Apa gunanya sekolah tinggi tinggi?

Ada yang lagi takut. Ngerasa utang budi sama seseorang. Nggak enak untuk ngabur ataupun pamit. Gak enak untuk minta lebih. Takut untuk lebih sakit lagi. Takut semakin mati lagi. Takut gak bisa berkreasi lagi. Takut gak bisa bermimpi lagi. Takut ditolak dan gagal lagi. Takut sedih lagi.

Ada yang lagi males. Males beresin kerjaan karna males berkomunikasi. Males komunikasi karna udah tau bakal dicuekin. Males jadi travel biro. Males dateng pagi. Males pake baju rapi ke kantor sendiri. Males di kantor sendiri sukanya malah nongkrong di kantor orang.

Dan ada juga yang jadi bingung dan bertanya-tanya. Apa yah yang bisa gue bantu? Gimana cara gue meringankan bebannya? Gimana supaya pede dan cengiran tololnya tetep ada? Gimana supaya gak stress lagi?

Akhirnya, ada yang berdoa lebih lama lagi malam itu.

the verb sorry

A friend of mine cried today. Domestic problems. Tired of a thing called ego and different point of view. This is the bizarre thing of a relationship. How one could feel that she has try her very best but still the other party would tell that she done nothing. Would we have a winner in this kind of case?

Sometime there’s a pride in me if I win a debate. But when my sense and conscious back, I hate myself to death of having a battle. Especially when I win it. I hate conflict. Maybe because I watch too many conflict which end in no solutions. One might seems to win at the moment. But I consider that both sides are losing. I hate that black aura which happens on fight. Innocent party might get involved of your fight. Your children. Your surrounding. Should they got the effect also? Did you ever consider that it might make them trauma? Or you just think of yourself? Then go live in the jungle and leave everybody.

However, there’s no such thing as perfect right? Problems keep happening. Fight will always happen. The only thing that might do well is trying to look from others point of view and redeem your ego. And hoping that everyone will do the same. So we could live in harmony. Just like the fairy tale.

But its impossible. Nowadays people are even afraid of saying the words sorry. Many bad things happen just because that word is so hard to be pronounced. People think that sorry means that you loose. Sorry means weak. Sorry means you lost your pride.

I’d rather seen it as a different thing. Sorry can put things back at ease. Sorry can guard your relationship. Sorry means you win your spouse, your friends, your family back. We ain’t angel. We are just a simple human who born to make mistakes. No matter which one is right or wrong, a little sorry is enough to conquer a heavy fight. Because right or wrong is just depend on how we see it.

Am I too naïve?

All I Am

All I Am - Heatwave

Who do you think you see?
When you look at me?
Is it somebody strong?
Somebody you could admire?

And who do you think I am?
When I take your hand?
Are you counting on me?
To fill your dreams and your desires?

Chorus
Well all I am
Is lonely (just) like you
All I wanna do
Is have one dream come true
All I am is handing you my heart
And hoping to be part of you

Who do you think you are?
Standing in the dark
Are you waiting for me?
Why can't I reach you from here?

And how do I get to you?
Won't you let me through?
Don't you think maybe we
Have something special to be shared?


[Often wonder who I am from someone-that-I-care point of view. I know that theres a lot of love to share. Sometime its sweet, but sometime its hard for me to get through. Sometime I feel so meaningful, but sometime I’m nothing. Then I heard this old song again, maybe this is all I could tell about myself. This is all I am.]

Just Another Girl

Been got back from a party some hours ago. It’s called Jakarta Gathering of my college buddies. Thought it was a small party. But it turns out to be pretty merry. Some people that I don’t know came as well. Not really comfortable. Especially that she’s there as well.

Always thought that I forget him. Always thought that I care no more for him to be someone-to-be-with. Always thought that I wont give a damn if I saw them together again. Guess some of them still wrong.

It is no longer that crazy little thing called love. That little thing is gone some years ago. I can assure of that. But this feeling of pride, that someone has beaten me, that a man, a friend of mine, lie to me for several years. That big thing called pride is what bug me so deep everytime I saw them together.

He is no longer the same person I know before. No longer become the person that I admire and I do care much. Yes I still care for him but just the same as I will care my other friends on his level. He is changing. Into someone that I’m no longer comfortable with. The only thing that put us in ease is our past, and anything written in newspaper or TVs.

And she? I hardly know about her. I just don’t like her. Sometimes I wonder why. Is it because she’s prettier than me? Smarter? Wealthier? If that so, is that what a guy always looking from a girl? Then I’m sure I wont get any. I’m very lacking at those three departments. But, is it right? Can I just hate someone because she’s better than me? Then I will hate nearly everybody. Then I will live in jealousy.

But the heck. I don’t like her. And I don’t think that I have obligation to stay near her. So just stay put. Stay away. Yes you win the competition. Yes you has just proved that you are way better than me and as usual, I am a nobody. Hate to admit this. Gotta kill my pride to finally admit this. Admit that again, and again, I am just another girl.

an Impromptu Vacation

Wed. 180505.
‘eh, USB lo rusak tuh, naek dong ke ruangannya UC‘
(setelah sampai diatas, ada UC dan perut buncit)
‘Ke Malaysia yuks?’
‘Eh, minggu depan Long Weekend, pas banget!’
‘Perginya kapan?’
‘Jumat pagi aja!’
‘Lusa dooong!!’ (panik tapi kegirangan) ‘Jadi bolosnya kapan aja?’ (nagih)
‘Bolos jumat ama senen aja, selasa balik, mayan tuh 5 hari’
(Telpon sana telpon sini cari tiket sampe jam 8 malem. Mikir cara nawar fiskal. Naek pesawat apa ya dari Spore? Sms semua temen yang di MY and Spore. Paspor gue dimana ye? Cari rute dengan biaya termurah sampe perut buncit keceletot bilang ‘jadi kita naek fery sampe batam terus ganti pesawat ke MY?’)
‘asik dapet!!’

Thurs. 190505.
‘kasus nih, tiket batam-jakartanya kurang 1, harus diambil ke harmoni sebelum jam 12’ (padahal itu udah jam 11.45. langsung kebayang macetnya dan debunya jakarta siang itu sepanjang hang lekir-harmoni. Ganti strategi, merayu2 mbak Lusi sang travel biro, sampe akhirnya tiket bisa diambil sore2 di BEJ)
‘form cuti gimana?’
‘gak usah aja!’. ‘ah repot lagi, kabur aja nape?’. ‘tar aja mendadak2’
(gak taunya..)
‘nduy, aku mo ngomong sama kamu’ (kata si bos besar sebelum rapat)
‘ok mbak’ (dengan senyum termanis padahal deg2an banget, ‘sialan nih ketauan’)
(awal2 rapat kasak kusuk sama Mbak Asye sang HRD untuk ngisi form cuti. Tengah2 rapat sok2 nimbrung kasih2 ide supaya gak salting karna duduk sebelah sang bos besar. Akhir rapat jalan timik timik ke ruangan bos besar sambil menyiapkan kata-kata manis.)
‘maaf mbak musti tau dengan cara seperti ini’
bla bla bla (gue cut aja deh kata2nya si bos besar, kepanjangan dan muter2 aja)
‘tapi mbak,..’. ‘aku ngerti posisi mbak banget, cuma…’. ‘Betul sekali, saya minta maaf banget karna ini masih pertama buat saya…’. ‘tolong sekali mbak, kami sudah..’ (ada kesempatan holiday tolol didepan mata, perjuangan kudu gila2an dong)

---di tempat UC---
‘ini keputusan berat sekali buat aku, tapi kalian boleh pegi’
(yippppieee!!!)
(malemnya gue dan perut buncit sempet ke PS ambil2 titipan. Makan McD sisa biar ngirit. Kena marah sonya, ai dan dhani yang ngiri. Naek bus ngeteng ke bekasi biar ngirit juga. Depan kompleks orang kaya ngitung2 duit buat naek ojek. Beberes barang pinjem ransel keren yang ternyata punya adenya perut buncit –pantes keren :P-. Have a nice dream of the upcoming holiday)

Fri. 200505.
(mata setengah melek ke bus damri. Naek. Tidur pules)
‘tet, bangun dah nyampe’
(gelagapan bedua karna sama2 baru bangun pas depan gate Wings Air Murah Jaya. Check in. Makan dunkin)
‘ya ampun kok udah pada tidur sih?’ (UC ngebatin liat gue dan buncit tidur sebelum take off)

----di batam---
‘sialan gue disangka TKI’
‘ayo kita bareng2 kesana!’ (sok mengira kita gak bakal dituduh TKI juga)
‘mbak2, ikut jalur sebelah sana’. ‘isi form dulu mbak’. ‘harus didata’ (dengan gaya senga megang walkie talkie dan ngegusah2 kaya ke ayam. Berdebat panjang kali lebar. Selamat deh. Keluar. Ketemu mas Azhar dan taksi)
‘gue nasi goreng aja deh, kayanya gak bakal abis’ (taunya abis banget)
‘gue gak terlalu suka duren sih..’ (taunya abis banyak)

---johor---
‘foto dulu dong!’ (begitu melihat tanda ‘selamat datang di malaysia’. Kita kan turis gtu loh)
(sampe rumah Mbak Nurul sodaranya UC, malu2 ada yang minta teh panas sama cocacola. Bentar2 lirik2 pisang goreng dan salak.)

---di mobil lagi jalan puter2 johor---
‘makannya enak yah?’
‘iya makannya enak banget, apalagi kalo gratisan’ (ngomong teriak2 di belakang orang yang baru nraktir makan malam)

Sat. 210505.
(ke Melaka, mampir makan duren. UC dan perut buncit kegirangan. Gue manyun poto2 sendiri aja sambil sesekali makan pisang goreng)
‘woy, hotelnya ratenya RM 280 euy’ (tegang dapet hotel mahal)
(puter2 melaka. Masuk kesultanan melaka)
‘Teuku Umar dari Palembang kan?’ (pasti jadi bahan celaan seumur idup nih)
(terusin jalan2. masuk museum2 oke2 dan murah2. liat2 jalanan. Becanya keren2. ada bekas benteng2 portugis. beli eskrim. Poto2)

--sore2an dikit---
‘how can I get to KL?’ (nanya mas2 money changer padahal sebenernya lagi itung2 duit enaknya nuker berapa yah?)
‘how can I get to church?’ (perasaan semua orang nunjuk arah yang berbeda2)
(balik lagi ke hotel. Ada yang teler dan idungnya meler. Dikasi dopping obat juga gak mempan. Tapi tetep, dasar anak baek dan doyan jalan, mo nemenin nongkrong2 diluar. Minum teh tarik dan mie rebus)
(balik jam satu malem. Kirain udah bisa menikmati hotel mahal. Taunya..)
‘adohh..’ (dari kamar mandi)
‘kenapa?’ (udah was was)
(dengan tampang dongonya yang khas si perut buncit keluar sambil megang celana panjangnya yang basah kuyup)
‘kok bisa?’
‘ditaro dibawah’ (fyi, sebelumnya ada dialog tentang anatomi WC di hotel itu yang gak oke. Yang bisa buat seluruh lantai basah)
(Akhirnya malam itu kita setrika2 celana dan hair dryer berubah fungsi jadi celana dryer)

Sun. 220505.
(bangun pagi buta. jalan penuh semangat ke gereja)
‘wah gak ada yg bahasa inggris’
(jalan penuh semangat ke gereja yang lain. Poto2. liat makanan2 enak)
‘nanti kita makan sinih yah’
(karna itu pecinan gue hanya berharap ada teh botol disana)
(ternyata di gereja yang satunya itu gak ada yang bahasa inggris juga)
‘ ihgirngsamf.. difhguiwjg… ighringrmmoew’
(ikut misa berbahasa Tamil di gereja yang pertama)
‘bantet, perut gue sakit banget nehh..’
(gue ditinggal boker di misa dengan bahasa kagak ngerti, dimana orang muka melayu kalo si perut buncit pergi berarti tinggal gue doang)

---KL---
(Pisah ama UC. Dia lanjut ke Perak ketemu Camer. Kita ketemu Chepot, temennya perut buncit di KLCC. Makan. Dibayarin. Enak banget. Apa gue laper yah?)
‘udah abis lagi?’
‘iyah’ (dengan malu2 gak enak karena nggragas. Maap yah)
(cari vincci buat Tika. Gue gak nemu apa2. Setelah cape mengajak mreka2 puter2 KLCC sambil nanya2 si Suuntoloyo titipannya Sonya, kta ke Pecinan. Minum mata kucing. Perut Buncit makan Bakuteh. Duile mukanya menikmati sekali. Gak lupa poto2. Abis itu dibawa ke toko buku bekas. Kalap deh. Trus cengar cengir sepanjang jalan. Di rumah Chepot perang sama anaknya temennya. Perut Buncit difitnah mengganti channel)
‘I don’t want that kakak kakak to stay’ (penolakan dari anak kecil)
(setelah menikmati es krim dan mandi mandi. Cari makan malam --sate malaysia, lala, kwetiaw, dkk-- dan langsung balik ke terminal Blok M ala KL)

Mon. 230505.
(back to johor subuh2. Taksi lagi peak season. Jadi bobo tempat mas azhar. Umpel2an deh kita. Nyampe rumah Mbak Nurul numpang sarapan dan nerusin ke Spore)

--spore--
(baru nyadar gak ada duit S$ sepeser pun. Nyari money changer malah nemu Glodok ala Spore)
‘how much does it cost?’ (perut buncit menemukan dunianya. Setelah cocok harga dan dikeluarin barang. Nanya2. Dan keluarlah kalimat standar penjual)
‘this one is better’ (dikeluarkanlah barang yang lebih mahal. Lebih canggih. Lebih keren. Perut buncit tergoda dong.)
‘woy, sini sini’ (UC manggil dari luar. Ternyata diusir sama yang punya toko. Nawarnya salah gaya. Akhirnya kita split lagi. Ketemu malem2 aja di stasiun bus)
(keluar dari situ bawa barang gede. Giliran perut buncit yang cengar cengir dapet maenan baru. Keluar toko langsung ngoprek sambil nyeka2 idung. Tsk tsk tsk. Terus abis itu pusing sendiri mikir bayar pake apa)
(Mampir ke temple2. Poto2. Beribadah. Naek MRT ke Orchard. Jalan2 di Orchard kaya orang tolol. Ada yang gak doyan belanja diajak window shopping. Malem2 udah cape duduk2 di trotoar sambil poto2 diri sendiri. Masuk mall numpang pipis, ketemu Malaikat)
‘Muslim? Udah sholat?’
(jejeng jejeng. Gue gak sholat dari zuhur. Padahal itu udah magrib lewat. Lari2 nyari mesjid. Nemu yang lagi jemaahan. Alhamdulillah)
(nyasar2 nyari stasiun busnya. Demi mempersingkat waktu naek bus ngeteng ceritanyah. Ktemu Malaikat nomer 2. Waiter McD yg nunjukkin jalan ke Stasiun Bus. UC udah ngilang. Back to Johor)
(ngakak2 di bus ke Johor nginget2 ketololan kita berholiday ria. Tut. Ada sms. Ternyata dari si bos besar. Nagih kerjaan yang belum pernah dikasiin ke si Perut Buncit. Langsung deh bete. Jadi tambah sebel sama bos besar. Ngilangin cengirannya si Perut Buncit. Suka amat sih gangguin orang. Gangguin holiday orang. Gak ngenak2in orang lagi mo seneng2. Muka dongo langsung berubah jadi muka serius. Malem2 abis ngata2in bos besar sama UC, belajar dulu ngerjain tugas. Bos besar jadi Setan nomer satu)


Tues. 230505.
‘jadi naek fery jam berapa?’
‘13.40 masih bisa kok’

--di Johor Bay--
‘nanti bisa check in jam 2’
(loh kok jam 2? Kan kita ngincer jam 13.40?)
‘yang 13.40 gak jalan, adanya jam 14.30’ (dengan cueknya)
(langsung itung2 waktu dari Johor Bay sampe naek pesawat. Kesimpulannya: gak mungkin banget)
(di kapal fery tegang banget. Kapalnya telat pula. Duduk paling depan dan diusir2. Gak mau dong. Nonton tipi dibawahnya banget jadi pusing sendiri)

--di Batam Bay--
(lari-lari kaya orang tolol menuju taksi)
‘emang pesawatnya jam berapa mbak?’
‘sekarang, Pak!’
‘ya udah Mbak tambah aja, jangan tegang, nanti saya kebut sampe bandara’
(dan kebutlah Bapak Taksi sang Malaikat nomer 3. Gue duduk depan. Tegang banget. Merem2 melulu. Untung yg dibelakang gak pada liat. Sambil terus berdoa. Delay dong delay oh Batavia.)

--nyampe Hang Nadim Airport Batam--
‘Pak kita telat’ (sambil ngos2an depan loket kosong. Berdoa jalan terus)
‘waduh udah gak bisa nih’ (sambil gak usaha apa2 selain ngebuka2 tiket)
‘ada apa nih?’ (seorang mbak2 dateng. Sigap banget. Langsung ambil telpon. Nempelin Stiker di Boarding Pass. Bujuk2in pesawatnya supaya gak pergi. Aman deh. Thanks to mbak2 malaikat nomer 4).
(lari-lari kaya orang tolol sampe pesawat. Duduk masih ngos2an. Begitu duduk baru berasa laper banget karna tadi gak makan siang. Roti pembagian dari pesawat kayanya enak banget)

--nyampe Airport Jakarta--
(lega udah nyampe. Jadi sempet poto2 depan pesawat)
‘gue dapet sms dari susy, nanya gue nikah gak di Malaysia?’
(Jahilnya kumat. Perut Buncit langsung tlp Ale dan ngarang cerita bahwa UC nikah di Malaysia)

[Hari itu masih diterusin ke Plaza Semanggi. Cari makanan padang dan gak dapet. Males pulang banget. Apalagi gue di kos sendirian. Sendirian banget. Abis ampir seminggu asik terus. Gak sendirian terus. Maen2 terus. Seneng2 terus. Ada temen berbagi terus. Ilang semua beban (kecuali si setan nomer 1 yah). Balik lagi deh, ke kamar ukuran 1.7 x 3.4. Bete liatin lantai kotor dan kamar berantakan. Jomplang banget euy? Keluarlah defensive mode gue, nangis kesenengan dan kebetean sekaligus. Terus berdoa. Bersyukur udah pernah seseneng ini. Minta maaf karna kemaruk, pengennya seneng2 terus. Mohon supaya kuat besok2nya. Mohon supaya nggak ketagihan. Terus makasih lagi. Dan makasih lagi.]

--Makasih buat Perut Buncit (ditungguin, 4 malaikat dan 1 setannya), UC dan semuanya yang udah buat holiday ini begitu sinting!!!--

most richly blessed

I asked God for strength that I may achieve,
I was made weak to humbly obey.

I asked God for health that I may do great things,
I was given infirmity that I may do better things.

I asked for riches that I might be happy,
I was given poverty that I may be wise.

I asked for power that I may have the praise of men,
I was given weakness that I may feel the need of God.

I asked for all things, that I may enjoy life,
I was given life, that I may enjoy all things.

I got nothing that I asked for,
but everything I had hoped for.

Almost despite myself,
my unspoken prayers were answered.

I am, among all, most richly blessed.

-- by unknown (USA) Civil War soldier --

would I?

(just browse through my old files and find this writing. dunno where I get it. could be a forward-email or I made this sometime ago. anyway bit change has made. to make this writing so-me)

Have you ever wondered which hurts the most? Saying something and wishing you had not, or saying nothing and wishing you had? I guess the most important things are the hardest things to say. Don't be afraid to tell someone you love them. If you do, they might break your heart. But if you don't, you might break theirs.

Have you ever decided not to become close with someone because you were so afraid of losing what you already had with that person? Your heart decides whom it likes and whom it doesn't. You can't tell your heart what to do. It does it on its own. Even when you least suspect it, or even when you don't want it to.

Have you ever wanted to care for someone with everything you had, but that other person was too afraid to let you? Too many of us play hard on ourselves because we are too afraid to care too much. For fear that the other person does not care as much, or at all.

Have you ever denied your feelings for someone because your fear of rejection was too hard to handle? We tell lies when we are afraid. Afraid of what we don't know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But every time we tell a lie, the thing we fear grows stronger.

Life is all about risks and it requires you to jump. Don't be a person who has to look back and wonder what they would have, or could have had.

What would you do if every time you wanted to be with someone, they would never be there? What would you do if your best friend died tomorrow and you never got to tell them how much you care for them?

Perhaps all of these questions are the answer on how people who actually care and don’t want to hurt each other could still get puzzled.

Just want to tell you that you are a truly dear friend.

If something happened to me tomorrow, you would always be in my heart.

Would I be in yours?

leyeh leyeh

Ngantuk. Gue doyan banget tidur. Kalo gue disuruh pilih antara makan, mandi, dan tidur. Maka gue akan pilih tidur. Seringnya sih gak tidur-tidur amat. Cuma merem-merem bentar diatas permukaan datar sambil dengerin musik dan ngehayal-hayal dikit. Nyokap gue bilangnya leyeh-leyeh. Dan si leyeh-leyeh ini gak hanya enak dilakukan diatas kasur.

di angkot
Berhubung rumah gue jauh banget waktu di Bandung, tidur di angkot menjadi salah satu hobi gue. Kadang gue baca juga sih diangkot. Kalo pegi biasanya baca buku pelajaran, kalo pulang baca novel. Tapi kalo nature call, mending juga gue cari tempat di pojok. Dan tidur sambil senderan ke kaca. Kalo gak dapet dipojok, tidur sambil nyender di ransel. Boleh juga curi-curi kesebelah kalo keliatannya orang baek-baek. Kadang begitu bangun, tetep jaim sambil perhatiin jalan. Terus dengan pedenya teriak ‘kiri, kiri!’ minta turun. Begitu turun nyebrang dan naek arah sebaliknya. Karena ternyata kelewatan euy.

sambil ngobrol
‘duy’. ’hah? (sambil gelagapan) iya sih bener kata ria, mendingan juga dibagi dua aja’. ‘yang bilang dibagi dua si wini duy’. ‘ah masa sih?’ yah kalo gue udah mulai gak nyambung pas lagi ngobrol2 terutama lagi belajar. Itu tandanya gue lagi asik2 leyeh2.

di kolam renang
kemaren sempet berenang kemaleman di Citos. Ternyata enak banget. Pas banget pantulan2 cahayanya. Udaranya enak kan kagak panas tapi dingin banget juga nggak. Kemaren juga sempet lagi bete2 sama kerjaan dan berenang sendirian kesana. Enak buat leyeh-leyeh. Trus baliknya beli roti goreng mayonais. Slurp. Atau es krim Pisa kalo lagi tajir. Double Slurp.

Akhir-akhir ini ada tempat baru buat leyeh-leyeh.
Di kantor.
Kalo terlalu banyak kerjaan dan akhirnya bingung ngerjain yang mana duluan. Atau kalo gak ada kerjaan jadi bingung apa yang mo dikerjain. Itulah saat paling enak buat leyeh-leyeh. Mana depan computer yang konon kabarnya emang buat mata ngantuk kalo kelamaan dipelongin (padahal nonton Meteor Garden gue nonstop depan computer dan mata gue baek2 aja, paling bengkak gara-gara nangis). Terus apa yang paling enak sambil leyeh2 depan computer? Nyemil, minum kopi, browsing ape gtuh dan nulis di blog, kayak sekarang.

Dimana tempat leyeh-leyeh favorit lo?

addicted to gadget

Been wondering my previous life some years ago. Where I could live happily without any help of handphone. So different with today. In my first year carrying handphone, it will be better for me if I forgot my entire bag than to leave my handy. Recently, handy is not enough. It gotta be loaded with account also.

And now I feel a huge desire in buying laptop. Aside from the fact that my bro is going to take my desktop to Bandung, I do think that I need one. Badly. Dont know what kind of lust it is, but I need to have a laptop. I need it. I wanna buy it. I wanna have it. Muahahhahahhaha.

they're not yours they are my own

Heard this song couple days ago in the office. Been a while since the last time I really listen and put attention on its lyrics.

I’m actually not a Jewel fan, so it’s a bit hard for me to salute her song. But anyway, here’s the condensed-version lyrics:

Jewel – Hands

If I could tell the world just one thing
It would be that we're all ok
And not to worry because worry is wasteful
and useless in times like these

I will not be made useless
I won't be idled with despair
I will gather myself around my faith
for light does the darkness most fear

My hands are small, I know,
but they're not yours they are my own
but they're not yours they are my own
and I am never broken

Poverty stole your golden shoes
but it didn't steal your laughter
And heartache came to visit me
but I knew it wasn't ever after

We will fight, not out of spite
for someone must stand up for what's right
cause where there's a man who has no voice
there ours shall go singing

In the end only kindness matters
In the end only kindness matters
I will get down on my knees and I will pray
I will get down on my knees and I will pray

I consider that the point is, no matter what and who we are, we were born to be something. Maybe we were not so lucky in certain areas (brain, look, behavior, handicapped, teeth) but they're not yours they are my own! And when things got bad, just get kneel and pray for everything to be return in kind.

Such a soul-fulfilling song!