an atmosphere hunter

The thing that I always seek into when I entered a new city is their local food. Yeah, you could call me a freak food hunter. And its indeed reflected in my shape.

My best achievement on food-huntering was on Makassar. The food is damn delicious and its affordable. Up until now I can still tell the taste of Coto Makassar and some-green-banana-icy thing which I forgot the name. I have once bought its replica in Bandung, but it taste different. Could be caused by the originality that of course Bandung wont have? Or simply because the atmosphere was different?

I just had lunch with some old friends on last Friday. From all six of us, one ordered kwetiaw and the others were enjoying their beverages. This single plate of kwetiaw was invading by all of us, and it seems so tasty. But when I order it on my own. It didn’t taste that good.

Same thing happen some weeks ago when we was invading one bowl of soup with hat. We ate them so barbarically until the table was covered in splash of soup and the pieces of the danish was scattered all around the place even until our clothes. And it tasted so good.

Sometime like to wonder. Why I sometime couldn’t enjoy the food in some fancy restaurant with my bosses? Why I enjoy more in lingering in bed just to chat with a or several friends and just drink mineral water and ate chips?

Maybe the sugar, spice and salt are not always be the answer for delicious food. I think atmosphere play a great role here. Therefore I would like to change my alias into an atmosphere hunter.

(would like to bestow my sincerest gratitude for those of you who put contribution in making nice atmosphere around until I get this fat)

no bosses around!!

My two biggest (well, one is quite big and one is tall enough) bosses are not around since Monday. And guess what happened at the office?

Lets see, some come to the office very late, some come home very early, and some come very late and get rushing back home or having massage at 4 o clock in the afternoon. And all of these are recorded in the not-so-sophisticated-attendance-recording-device, but too bad no one put much attention on follow up of the poor machine.

Actually, is it allowed to be not in order while your bosses away? Why we actually following the rules? Is it because we are afraid of our bosses? Or we respect them? If we jump with glee of their absent in office, and a bit ignoring our work and have a helluvah lunch or enjoy the relaxation at the beauty parlor during the office hour, is that what respect means?

I never thought that I will have this feeling of extremely relieve knowing that my bosses is not around. Some part of my brain keep telling me that this is not the way it supposed to be. I should’ve stay put with my job regardless they are around or not, instead, I did make 3 writings on blogs (2 are recently published and 1 still on draft), help my friend selling several shirts, have great breakfast outside, browse www.nationalgeographic.com, making 1 glass of tea and 1 coffee and now I’m going to have lunch. Meanwhile, I’m actually aware of what tasks that I need to do that related with office. But I just didn’t have that desire to finish them.

Think its time for me to move forward, but, where to go?

yang buat gue shock sejak hidup baru gue di jakarta

1. Walau jarak ke kantor deket, ngekos itu gak seenak rumah gue di Bandung yg sejauh2nya manusia
2. Blog itu asik euy
3. ‘Sex and the city’ taught more about friendship than ‘friends’
4. Jakarta gak macet-macet amat (jalur gue)
5. Pindah kos itu ribet
6. Saku celana bukan tempat yang paling aman untuk nyimpen HP
7. Nemu cecurut di kamar kos gue yg berukuran hanya 1.7 x 3.4
8. Dengerin FGD atau diskusi2nya orang2 tua itu frustrating, kagak kestruktur dan kebanyakan cerita pengalaman mereka instead of jawab pertanyaan
9. Baju2 gue yang gue pikir gedombrangan sekarang semuanya ngepas
10. Ternyata rekening koran itu maksudnya rekening tabungan, bukan rekening langganan koran
11. Kepeditan dan kekayaan itu ternyata seringnya berbanding lurus
12. Brenang sendirian di Citos malem2 ternyata asik juga
13. Ternyata beberapa sobat gue perhitungan
14. Orang-orang yang mungkin keren pas pertama lo liat, belom tentu bakal jadi keren terus
15. Banyak banget artis di Jakarta
16. Ben dilagunya Jacko itu tikus, bukan anak kecil negro
17. Kerja itu susah kalo gak pake hati
18. It feels good to know that you are meaningful
19. Sesokcuek2nya gue, ternyata tetep aja bete kalo tau ada kerjaan yang harusnya bisa buat gue tapi dilempar ke orang lain
20. Ternyata cowok punya G-spot juga
21. Buku-buku cetakan luar juaaauuhhh lebih enteng dibandingin cetakan-cetakan domestik
22. gendut itu gampang, pake hati ataupun tidak
23. Bos-bos itu pada dasarnya rese, suka jadiin anak buahnya tameng, apa gak kebalik tuh?
24. Life is indeed hard, but just enjoy it lah!

Darkness

On my early elementary ages, I do afraid of the dark.

When the nights come, I always have this eerie feeling. In my mind, all bad things happens when its dark. I always hold my Mom’s hand so tight so that she wouldn’t go away. I’m afraid that she could sometime die if I didn’t hold her tight. I hold her skirt, her sleeves and everything so that nothing can take her away from me.

That’s the best that a 7 years girl can do to prevent someone from losing.

I often forget those moments. Due to the growth of my sense, I do aware that it takes more than just holding hand to stop someone that you care from going away from you. And I do aware, that darkness doesn’t always mean no lights.

And if someone stay near you physically, Doesn’t mean that the heart stay close as well

I recently feel that eerie feeling again. And I don't know why, but I suddenly back to that 7 years old girl and do the silly thing again.

why do people have to work?

There are several phases that need to go through in our life, born, school, work, marriage, having children, then die peacefully. My phase is on the work now. Wanna share you all a bit about this.

Kinda confuse of the reason why people have to work. Is it for money? Pleasure? Social life? Expressing your lust? Pride? Killing time? Or just simply because we have to do it.

I graduate from a varsity where most of its alumni put pride first for their job. The more famous your place of work, the more salutation will be given to you. Appraisal from people, that admiring and astonishing look in people eyes everytime you mention your company, the calculating brain which imagining how much bonuses that you will gain in the end of the year, are they what actually be the reason to work?

To the contrary, some closest friends of mine are thinking in the different way. Some of them are not coming from what so called prestigious varsities. Although how much I hate to admit this, but the easiest -please do notice the word easy and not effective- way for the recruiting team in most of the company to measure their candidates performance is merely by the name of the varsities and some numbers, or well known as GPA.

Anyway, what I’m trying to say is, this group of people, they don’t really care of what kind of job that they will have. They will be so glad just to have a job, regardless what kind of job it is or whether it will be suitable with their background or not. Some which coming from a lucky family didn’t even consider that their salary are very much less then their expenditure. Its all the same. They think they should work because they have to. As simple as that.

I do agree that people have to work, but I don’t agree to any of the above reason of why should people work. Firstly, we need activities and we need cash to continue or live. Yes, no doubt in that and –correct me if I’m wrong- the only way to do it is by working. Therefore we have to work and the salary must be able to cover average expenditure.

But something that people nowadays remain forgotten is to follow the little thing call heart. Most of my surrounding are using brain much often than heart. They do the cost and benefit analysis of place to work by using mostly brain. The keywords that they are using is salary, location, MNC/not, do they have website, bonuses, career, etc., let alone the word chemistry, interest, how it could benefit other than you and your company, how it could bring betterment to the society, and so on.

I would actually prefer to merge both of my brain and my heart, by building a thing called dream. I thought it would be perfect if I could merge my capacity and interest into a dream and the thing that I need to do is find a place to make that dream come true. I know that this wont be any easy, maybe the only way is by creating this place on my own. But anyway, for the time being, anywhere you work, just don’t let the lights of your dreams goes out. Just promise yourself that you’ll do it sometime. Even when you didn’t make it come true, be glad, because to build a dream is hard enough.

magical place

It’s the place where sun doesn’t burn much
Yet it’s the place where cold doesn’t bite

It’s the place where grin and laughter are welcomed
But frown and tears are allowed

It’s the place where all problems could be forgotten for a while,
Then you know that you wont solve it on your own

It’s the place where all excitement present,
Yet the fear of afraid of losing each other appear as well

It’s the place where you feel so meaningful and guarded

It’s the place where you could really understand the exact meaning of comfortable

It’s really a magical place on earth
Where squirrel and hairy caterpillar found each other

It’s the place where the strongest bond exist
Yet it’s the place where the misunderstanding kept happening

Yeah different species have their own way in saying their thoughts,
But I believe that they do have their own sacred and unique kind of love to share
And the dream to keep this magical place always

Hope the squirrel and the hairy caterpillar have the same believe as me
Because not everyone could have this marvelous privilege

(inspired from the song 'Return to the Pooh Corner'. It's really a beautiful place, gak peduli yg temenan babi ama keledai, heheheh)

my definition of love

love is the only thing that i can actually share
it could be as glittery as gold
a simple kind of love, full of love and caring
same size, same portion, freely, truly, honestly
for such a nice person, friend, enemy, partner
aka sibling if i could humbly add

sometime we try to deny the fact
that the definition of any kind of love
is still depend on how people see it
no matter how extremely we care for someone
if theres this different point of view
then this sacred feeling that actually available
yet seem to be inappropiate

sometime the selfish part of the heart keep asking everything to stay the same
because the whole thing was just too beautiful to leave behind
because to lose the picture perfect of friendship is somehow unbearable

but..
if i still be selfish
then it will loose the essence of my love itself..

therefore I hereby re-define my statement of love
that this feeling of mine will be undefinable
I will care for you in my own way in whatever you`ll choose to act
I might never gonna say it in precise and accurate words
you just need to listen it with your deepest kindest heart that I ever know

thanks a lot
always wish you happiness in each and every breath you take

its just me

Feminine and gorgeous lady
That’s surely not me
I like to wear jeans
And have short hair cut
And also laughing out loud

Mastering general knowledge
That’s the thing that I always hate
I might know few things
But what interest me most, is just to sing

A violin-shape female
I think I more similar to whale, a nigger whale :D
I`m working on it, though..
But it seems didn’t work really well

Being a steel heart girl
It will really torture me
I shed tears in all Disney movies
Okay, all movies..
And happy stories,
Amaze me more than tragedy

Yup,
That’s me!!
I know that I`m not in-the-magazine-kind-of-girl
But I don’t want to change me..
And I do hope that you all will love me as me

(It was made on a day when the urge of loving one particular male is clashing with the dignity of just being myself. And myself is the winner. Though I still want him to love me back, heuhuehueh)

Roommate

I was leaving Bandung last year. There will be a long story for this, but it was awfully depressing for me to get out of the city. However, with strong will to strive for a brand new life and try to find the deepest meaning of being independent, I did move to Jakarta for my first job.

A new sheet of life means a new sheet in the bed. I gotta find somewhere to live. After knocking numerous doors, I decided to stay in the same room with an old friend from college. The room was pretty large. People could actually play football in this room.

Room arrangement was done. Never say it was easy though, she likes blue and I do green. So if you go to our room, you’ll be easily distinguished which side is mine and which is hers. However, hm, don’t say this to her but I secretly put green things around without her notice. That’s what I mean by green room freshener, bathroom freshener and green floor cleaner.

After so long living alone, being double is not always easy. I bet she felt the same way too since she’s the only child in her family. One big issue is tidiness. I always thank God for keeping the same standard of cleaning habit in us. Well, actually I’m some numbers lower than her. In this case, I thank God a lot for having roommate with such understanding.

Can’t say that I’m an easy person, though. I tend to do whatever I like. Going home very late at night, too lazy to pick up the underwear dried in the bathroom, rarely put my things in its place, often forget my keys, love to sing out loud regardless the quality of my voice, sneezes frequently, stuffed her with the latest update of my life (which are usually either unimportant or something pathetic), crying for lousy reasons and several others activities that I bet not much people can handle. But tell you what? This buddy of mine, she can handle it very well.

She’s just never complain, well I’m not saying that she’s quiet but she’s just not that kind of girl who will fuss about small things. She can act in several characters. If I go home late she’ll acted as my mom and call me. During my hardest day, she’ll be all ears and be my dearly friend. On my stubborn-denial-full ego situation, she’ll be the reminder of my truly feeling. In short, I’m actually a bit freaking if she’s not around, although she’s the one who put all the pillows around her if I didn’t stay at a night.

However, life goes on. This friend of mine will soon going to get married. She looked a bit stressed out about the wedding sometime. But I bet she did enjoy her justifications of buying things for her wedding. This new life of her and her beloved ones means that she’s no longer going to be my roommate. This is one of my reasons to find another place to stay. Aside from my initial plan of want to be real independent, I don’t think that I can handle if she leave me first for the wedding. Therefore, I decided to move out.

Picking roommate is not as easy as picking oranges in the supermarket. This one is way more complicated. I can’t find suitable formula to describe how to find the right roommate, but I do can tell you all that I did have found the right roommate. And the right roommate is indeed filling the loneliness that occurred to a single-far-away-from-home kind of girl. Like me.

Thank you so much, Pies. Hope you find the real happiness with Dj.

each of us is unique

This poetry was made on Kumkum and Ninots wedding day. It was the first catholic wedding that I attend, and it was really a beautiful one.

Each of us is unique
Not better or worse, but just different
And like a series of puzzles
Different pieces will be completed
if its find its match
Unfortunately, unlike puzzles
Its kina harder for us
To find someone that will make us feel completed
It will be a long and challenging journey indeed
There’ll be tears between laughter
There’ll be frowns between grins
But when we’re willing to take the risk
Eager to seek and stay
Tell God that we’re ready to lose one,
if one’s not meant for us
Don’t mind to try and put a smile after cry
Forget the mistakes and appreciate the flaw
Then don’t worry,..
God will aware of our endeavor
And set the one as the piece that will complete us
And guard it til the journey is over

August 23rd, 2003
Dedicated to Ninot and Kumkum
Two of our beloved friends
that successfully has found the right piece
to complete each other
Congrats and have a very joyful journey!